World’s worst hunting dog
World’s worst hunting dog
They have a glass pipe, a blowtorch and ammonia, but nothing to filter it with. Trout rummages through his suitcase and emerges with “the cleanest dirty pair of underpants I could find”. The freebase is consumed, but they end up cutting little squares out of the jockey shorts, fighting over what may or may not be scraps of cocaine residue.
My home city, in all of its wisdom, recently replaced the old-fashioned individual parking meters with a new, “better” system.
The old meters worked like this:
-Park your car, get out.
-If you’re lucky, there’s still time remaining on the meter from the previous occupant.
-If not, or if you need more time, you put coins in meter until the amount of time displayed on the meter will be enough. Then you go about your business.
The new system works like this:
-Park your car, get out.
-The post by your spot has a unique 4-digit number on it; make a mental note of that number.
-Walk thirty yards to a fancy computerized box, where you punch in that number. You did remember that number, didn’t you? Fuck. Run back and check one more time.
-Insert coins (or a credit card) into the magic box to buy parking time for your spot.
-How do you know whether you have purchased enough time? Well, you poor bastard, hope you’re good at math. The display on the magic box tells you how much money you’ve put in so far, and what time of day your parking space will expire; you add more money to push this expiration time farther into the future. If you want to know how much time you have (as in number of minutes, not time of day, e.g. “35 minutes should be enough for lunch”), you need to either know the current time (which the magic box does NOT tell you), or you need to calculate the number of minutes based on how much money you’ve put in and what the parking rate is (“let’s see, 45 cents at $1.20 per hour is…fuck, anyone got a calculator?”).
-You can get a printed receipt for your records, but of course once you leave, the next guy who parks in your spot has no idea whether there’s time left on that spot or not; he has no choice but to pay the meter, even if you’ve bought it for the rest of the afternoon.
I’m sure the city loves it, because the poor beleaguered city employee who collects meter money now has to empty just one big box instead of 20 individual parking meters - and even that box doesn’t fill up as often, since a good many people use a credit card instead of coins. But of course every goddam driver has to spend two minutes figuring out this fucking computer and calculating how much time they just bought, all while you (and probably a couple of other drivers) stand in line waiting for your turn to do the same calculus for your own car. And nope, no free parking for anyone, ever again.
So fuck you, ultra-modern parking meter. You may be saving the city a few bucks’ worth of tax dollars every day, but you’re pissing off the citizenry and wasting cumulative hours of peoples’ lives every goddam day.
A popular blues guitarist has traveled the world performing for the last 40 years, but it was a trip to Omaha that changed his life.
Today, I wheeled Walter into the surgery waiting room where I spent the eight hours during his surgery. He wanted to see it. It seems surreal to us; we spent months of Walter being on the brink of death and now – in the course of those eight magic hours of the surgery and a few days of mercifully uneventful recovery – it has all changed. Walter now has a very good chance of living for a couple decades or more. His body will regenerate.
Funny dog humor
From Walter Trouts official website
May 13, 2014
Now out of the Intensive Care Unit, Walter is coping with having to keep the faith that the transplant will eventually happen. His resolve is wearing thin. Today, he underwent a procedure to once again have fluid drained from around his lungs. He has so much accumulated liquid that he has to sit up in bed to (barely) breathe. And because he is so emaciated sitting up in bed hurts his back. If he tries lying on his side, he feels like he is going to drown.
The bleeding is under control for now. But the doctors are watching carefully and working to prevent recurrent episodes of internal bleeding like those that happened over the weekend. This means that Walter is not allowed to eat solid foods – or get up out of bed. He is confined to the bed, where he struggles through each breath. All the procedures and all the prodding and probing hurt him. And he is just tired to the bone. Now that today’s procedure is done, Walter can breathe a bit better, and for the first time in days, he is finally asleep. I think that will help with both strength and resolve when he wakes up again.
This is what a prolonged wait for an organ is like in a nutshell. You put out a medical emergency fire, only to find that you have flooded something else!The body cannot regulate itself, and tries to compensate. Yet the normal feedback loops and mechanisms don’t work, so it ends up over-compensating creating a spiralling chain reaction of continuous crises.
I have started working with organizations that seek to improve the availability of organs by encouraging people to become donors. Today they shot a video where I talked about what it feels like to love somebody who is waiting for an organ transplant. If you try to put yourself in the shoes of someone whose husband, wife, daughter, son, aunt or uncle becomes in need of an organ transplant, it is possibly easier to grasp how a collective effort to sign up for organ donation is a win-win. On the other side of this, there is a silver lining to the horror of losing a loved one knowing that their organs helped many others experience a rebirth; a new chance at life.
It is my hope that sharing the nightmare of what Walter is going through can help more people become aware of how this shortage of donated organs causes undue suffering for so many. Imagine if the doctors could just pick and choose between suitable organs, and people could get transplanted before they got so sick that they need daily emergency procedures to survive. This is the easiest and one of the most powerful actions we can do to help end suffering for many. AND there is no cost and no sacrifice involved! It just takes a few minutes to sign up.
The staff here at the hospital are doing the best they can to help Walter. They are repeatedly talking about how baffled they are that Walter has not been transplanted already. It is really just one of those freak things that happen, because deceased organ donation is still not commonplace. We appreciate your prayers, but each time one of you let me know that you signed up for organ donation – or helped someone else to do it – that makes my day! We can proactively do something about making sure that needing an organ transplant is not a matter of playing repeated games of Russian roulette
From Walter Trouts official website
May 11, 2014
There has been a drought in America’s breadbasket for about a year. The land of the central states provides large amounts of the world’s wheat, soy and corn production and it has been devastated by lack of water from above. Since Walter and I have been here though, the rain has been quite plentiful and has greened the land. Trees and flowers bloom, while the grass shows off a vibrantly fluorescent green. It is stunning!
Walter’s doctors are in agreement with me, that statistically speaking, Walter should have been transplanted two or even three weeks ago. But they report that they have been going through a dry spell with regards to donated organs. Today, a liver did get offered to Walter breaking the drought. However, the doctors turned it down as it was of poor quality; it was not healthy.
Walter has not bled internally today, and we are happy about that. Yesterday was the third day in a row where he had to have a procedure to fix internal bleeding. His blood numbers hold tight and we are just now observing a persistent cough. So far it doesn’t seem to be pneumonia, which would be a contraindication for surgery. His blood pressure is also a cause for concern as is fluid accumulation around his lungs and in his belly. He is beyond tired and weak. He did sit up in bed for a while and watched a clip of our oldest son play guitar and sing with some friends.
When he has a particularly tough time, I ask him to envision playing music with the kids again; showing them things on the guitar. We can travel places in our minds when our bodies are stuck. And we can picture ourselves in those situations as if they were happening right now. And this seems to help a little bit from time to time. We also made it through half of a Jack Nicholson movie: As good as it gets!
Today’s offer for a liver broke the dry spell. That organ donor provided other vital organs to people in need, even though the liver was not suitable for transplantation. One of these days….. We are getting closer… it will a healthy new liver for Walter. Outside the skies are grey and water pours from the sky. Thunderstorms are blowing through, and a tornado watch is in effect.
What ….. me worry.
The Greatest Sports Figure From Each State